I’m preparing my philosophy of ministry, so I’ve been reading through some old papers and my archives here. Do you know what I’ve discovered about myself? I’m a whiny coward - a chicken, clucking loudly. I spent months posting pseudonymously to complain about what was going on at a church where I was on staff, all the while not actually doing anything. How’s that for courage?
I don’t know what I was really afraid of. Would I have been fired? Reprimanded? Complained about? And would I have been hurt or embarrassed to receive those consequences as a result of doing what’s right? I don’t know. I was young and passive-agressive. I said my piece out loud once in a while, but I guess I didn’t trust God enough to lay it all out there.
So instead I came hear and let Elmo vent - you could probably even call it gossip - about everything that was going on. Well, at least I dropped the alias after quitting.
This will go in the “Mistakes: Do Not Repeat” file.
2 responses so far...
Well, one thing I’ve never been afraid of is writing down what I think, in all its glory. I just don’t always let on that it was me.
I’m with you, Clint. “Beyond the Fear”…sounds like it should be the name of your blog!
Blogs4God
Fear of the what-if. That is what keeps so many of us from doing the things we know we should. The drive to do something is then what pushes us to do it the wrong way.
Part of the reason I have resisted bloging is that I have a fear of being “found out” as wrong on something. So, for that reason I only write in a public forum that which I know cannot be disputed, rather than putting my thoughts and ideas into print. However, my drive to do something has me talking to everyone I know about what I believe on every subject under the sun. It is the same issue, same problem, same fear.
Let’s agree to live beyond the fear!