I was in the middle of another post, digging up some source material, when I came across this video:
I thought it was great, and spot on about confrontations. And it applies to so much more than just race. This is how you should confront someone when you think they did something rude, inappropriate, vulgar or selfish, among other things.
The big application I see though, is for conversations about sin. Those conversations are hard because (a) nobody wants to have their wrongdoing pointed out; (b) when confronted we’ll feel like it’s a personal attack, even when it’s not; (number 3) while it’s true that the object of the confrontation is a sinner, so is the subject.
Most of us, myself included, would prefer to avoid the whole sin confrontation - mainly because we know we’re sinful, and we’re afraid of having our own sin pointed out. But we have a responsibility to each other.
My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins. (James 5:19-20)
So, when you have to have the “what you did” conversation - particularly if you have to have it with me - remember not to make it a “what you are” conversation. The response you’ll always get is, “That doesn’t make me a bad person,” or some variation. Avoid that by focusing on the behavior, not the individual.
Blogs4God
Great Website. I’m going to be hunting around in here for a while. I like the “What you did” versus “What you are” video. It’s very insightful.