B-Real is the front man for the hip-hop group Cypress Hill. This post is not about him. Just FYI.
I work with a Christian girl, we’ll call her Margie, who has always gone out of her way to talk to everyone about more than just the weather or what was going on in the restaurant at the moment. At first it seemed very sweet. But over time it began to seem less and less genuine. I can’t put my finger on it, but she just seemed like she was faking it. This was the first time I’d noticed it in anyone, but it’s something worth mentioning.
Many Christians who aren’t in paid ministry positions are encouraged to evangelize their workplace, and the method that is en vogue right now is “relationship evangelism”. It’s a simple concept - one that I’m sure we’ve all tried ourselves. It would seem to many of us that the days when you could grab someone, tell them the gospel, and expect them to make a commitment to Christ on the spot have passed (or maybe we just feel that way because of fear…I’ll have to come back to that later).
This method of evangelism is difficult because two things have to happen: The person has to like you; and you have to convince them that you actually care about them. Achieving the latter usually helps with the former. So, many people set out to make new, non-Christian friends with the intention of converting them. They know that they have to show they care about the person…there’s just one small problem. Sometimes, the would-be evangelist cares mainly about the conversion (the notch on the belt) rather than the person. So they fake it.
“Fake it ’til it’s true.” I’ve heard that more than once. Do you want to have confidence in yourself? Fake it ’til it’s true. Do you want to be the brooding, aloof, cool guy? Fake it ’til it’s true. You want to care about people? Fake it ’til it’s true. Let me clue you in to something: this is bad advice.
I noticed in college a very small way I had been faking it for years. Maybe you’ll recognize the situation.
[Walking through the campus center I encounter an acquaintance that I'm on a first name basis with - mainly because I don't know his last name...or really anything else]
Random Guy: Hey man, how are you?
Me: I’m great, you?
RG: I’m doing great, too.
Me: Awesome. See ya later.
[Leave, forgetting the conversation immediately as I run into people whose full names I know]
I faked two things there: first, I was usually good, but not great (particularly when I was on my way to class); and second, I wasn’t really interested in his response. Usually I stopped listening before I finished the question. I decided that I was being dishonest. So I decided to start caring or stop asking.
At first that resulted in a lot of not asking, and a lot of me feeling bad for giving the impression that I wasn’t interested (even though it was true). But over time, as I learned more about the Gospel, and the love Jesus expects us to share, I began to be interested. So I started asking again. But it was different this time.
Instead of continuing to walk as I scanned for my real friends, I would stop and look the person in the eye. I started to remember things from previous conversations, and ask about the things that were happening in these new acquaintances lives. I don’t know if they noticed a difference, but I did. It’s good to notice the transformation Christ works in our lives.
But then I encountered Margie. There was just something that didn’t sit right. I can’t think of any other word to describe it but “insincerity”. It was a real turnoff. She remembered all the right facts and asked all the right questions…but something was off. Authenticity is huge in the Christian life - authenticity with yourself, your family and friends, and with everyone you encounter.
Don’t worry though. If you don’t feel it…if you’re not interested…if you don’t ask…Christ is working on you. The transformation can happen, you just have to embrace it. Authenticity in the Christian life. Be real.
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