Stephanie Simon of the LA Times wrote a piece the other day about Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary’s new homemaking concentration. I won’t go into all of the details of the article, because it’s pretty straightforward, with the expected liberal bias (since when is Jimmy Carter a “moderate”?). What is most interesting to me is the comment section. There are many, many misunderstandings and bullheaded refusals to see anything but male dominance and the devaluing of women, all aside from scattered comments likening this to the subjugation of women in Islam.
Many people simply reject the idea that there could be different roles for the sexes. Others say that gender roles are outdated, “50’s baptist culture.” Most seem offended by the idea that a woman should stay home. Below are some samples:
NEVER have I once thought that I am unequal to a man and should sacrifice my desire to have a career for marriage and children. There is no reason why a woman shouldn’t use the talents God gave her.
I could never marry any man who expected me to place my dreams and ambitions second to his. My parents raised me to be independent, to be able to take care of myself.
This seminary is teaching women that they are subservient to men’s desires and that’s not true. In this day and age women and girls learn and work alongside men and boys. It’s the norm and its accepted (as it should be). If a person enjoys being a homemaker, then I’m not disputing that they should pursue a life doing that, but women should NEVER limit themselves and their abilites based on how one group (a male dominated group) interprets scripture.
Submitted by: Brittany
Brittany represents a group of people that crosses gender and generational lines. This group of people says, “I’m going to do what I want, then I’ll do what God wants. But what I want is most important.” She says that she won’t “sacrifice [her] desire”, but that’s exactly what Jesus tells us to do. Now, if she’s not a Christian than this has nothing to do with her; but if she is, this is very, very important. Christ’s command trumps our desire…every time.
She also represents a major misunderstanding that is occurring and being repeated on the comment page: no one is “teaching women that they are subservient to men’s desires”. It’s as if they think men are free to do whatever they want, while women are stuck cleaning up after them and following them with no ability to speak up. As though men have no responsibility in this deal, only freedom. But any (good) husband will tell you that that’s not even kinda true.
Do I have freedom to pursue a career? Yeah, sort of. I can work and work hard, maybe in a field I choose, but maybe not. Do I feel like I have much freedom when I’m working double-shifts in a restaurant so that we can pay our bills? No. Some days I want to say, “Honey, why don’t you look for some part-time work to ease the strain.” But I know that my wife’s happiness is based in part on her ability to be a stay-at-home mom. So I make it work. I sacrifice my desires to make her happy. That’s what a husband is supposed to do. A wife is supposed to do the same.
One of the problems is that when people get married in our society, they remain separate. They have their own friends, and places to hang out, and bank accounts and schedules. They try to match them up, but they don’t understand that they aren’t two people any more. They are one flesh, one body…one family. The husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church “and gave himself up for her.” He is to love her as if she were his own body. “After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church. (Eph. 5:29)” This is a lot of responsibility.
Have you ever seen Big Love? It’s about a (fictional) present-day polygamous family. I thought about it earlier today, and if I saw New Testament encouragement of polygamous marriage, I still wouldn’t do it. Can you imagine the responsibility? It’s hard to learn to care wholly for another person emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It’s even harder when you have a child. Can you imagine having 3 wives and 7 or more children? How could I manage?
Unfortunately, not all men see marriage that way. That’s the saddest part of these comments. Women who have had [insert bad word here] for husbands and fathers:
I was raised, then married, as a Southern Baptist during an era when women were subserveant to men. When my [then] husband decided that I had ‘not grown’ to meet his intellectual standards, he left me for another woman. My only skills were that of a homemaker, and at 38 years of age I had to face an unknown world known as the workforce, attempt to learn a viable skill, and create my future.. There is nothing more satisfying than being a mother. But a ‘traditional homemaker’ is nothing but a servant. I believe that teaching women to be subserviant to husbands is a dangerous path, and counter productive to family values. by anda
I thought we were past this! I came from a home where my mother was a “traditional” homemaker, and my father left her (really, left us - she and three daughters) to start a new life with a younger wife. My mother struggled to raise three children with no work experience or schooling. In fact, she still struggles 20 years later. I learned from her mistakes and will earn my Master’s Degree in December. I can cook a full Thanksgiving dinner, but I also don’t feel guilty when we eat hot dogs on a busy day! These women are setting themselves up to live where my mom does, in her daughter’s garage . . . by Kristi
There’s no excuse for men to act this way. I remember reading a pastor’s commentary on how despicable it is for a man to date a woman into her 30’s an not marry her. To leave your wife and children, especially like this, is purely evil. But that doesn’t make gender roles themselves evil. And it doesn’t make Biblical teaching “dangerous” or “counter productive to family values”.
The assumption these women are making is that every man will leave his wife. It’s so sad when women like Kristi, who aren’t even married, are already planning for their divorce.
I think the worst part about the reaction to the degree plan is the way people speak and act as if the school and the SBC are forcing women to be homemakers, or that this is the first step towards forced subjugation and violence:
There are other “traditional” gender roles: the wives who were hitched to the plow when the oxen or the mules collapsed from overwork; all the women who suffered abusive husbands in silence (and often died) because thay had been taught to “submit” and “keep silent;” women of high intelligence who were not allowed to follow their dreams because it was “unseemly.” All perfectly acceptable and legal, according to Church doctrine. No thank you! by exhoicat
Teaching that a woman’s [only] place is in the home, serving her husband, is ‘cultural diversity’ is a not-so-clever way to support female servitude. Such teachings have no direct relationship to liberal or conservative thinking. But rather a mind-set that reeks of authorized ‘control’, which in turn not only encourages, but hides abuse, violence, and negative behaviour toward wives and children. by Anna
These barely deserve a response, because they are so far out in left-field. I’ll just say this: it’s ridiculous.
The women taking part in this degree plan choose to do it of their own free will. And if they want to finish this degree then go to law school, they can. If they want to change halfway through to pastoral ministry, that’s okay, too. And if they want to model their lives around the Biblical witness, why would anyone want to stand in their way?
Related: Woman, Thou Art…Woman!
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